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St. Patrick's Day Ecards

Ah, St. Patrick’s Day. A bunch of non-Irish-folk paint themselves green, get viciously drunk and swear that they’ve got an Irish grandmother somewhere. This isn’t the first religious holiday to be co-opted by nationalists, alcoholics or both, and it won’t be the last. What can you do about it, except get drunk?

And when initiating this green-tinged frenzy of drunken hooliganism, the best thing to do is to send out wrongcards. Just so you all show up at the right faux Irish Pub. See that guy propping up the bar over there singing quietly to himself? Don’t worry, that’s just me.

Ecard text: Let's celebrate St Patricks Day by dividing into two teams along arbitrary religious lines and then beating each other senseless.

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Ecard text: Let's celebrate St Patricks Day by dividing into two teams along arbitrary religious lines and then beating each other senseless.

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Ecard text: I am only going to put on green socks and drink alcoholic beverages because it would make a dead religious fanatic from the 5th Century very happy.

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Ecard text: I am only going to put on green socks and drink alcoholic beverages because it would make a dead religious fanatic from the 5th Century very happy.

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Ecard text: This year let's spend St Patricks Day hanging out with English people and letting them push us around.

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Ecard text: This year let's spend St Patricks Day hanging out with English people and letting them push us around.

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Ecard text: We drink to remember St Patrick's liberation of Ireland from the Nazi-Alien occupation of 1932-1956, which you would know all about if you too watched the History Channel.

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Ecard text: We drink to remember St Patrick's liberation of Ireland from the Nazi-Alien occupation of 1932-1956, which you would know all about if you too watched the History Channel.

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Ecard text: Every St Patricks Day I pretend to be Irish by dressing in green, getting really drunk and joining the IRA. It's always so embarrassing looking at the photos the next day.

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Ecard text: Every St Patricks Day I pretend to be Irish by dressing in green, getting really drunk and joining the IRA. It's always so embarrassing looking at the photos the next day.

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Ecard text: In order for me to actually enjoy St Patricks Day, I have to take all the potatoes away from you.

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Ecard text: In order for me to actually enjoy St Patricks Day, I have to take all the potatoes away from you.

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