wrongcards

St.Patricks Day Ecards, for Americans claiming to be Irish

Ah, St. Patrick’s Day. A bunch of non-Irish-folk paint themselves green, get viciously drunk and slur about some non-existent Irish ancestors.

This isn’t the first religious holiday to be co-opted by nationalists and alcoholics, and it won’t be the last. But why has it been co-opted by Americans? It’s not as if St.Patrick’s Day produces any oil.

drops mic, moonwalks off stage

Let's celebrate St Patricks Day by dividing into two teams along arbitrary religious lines and then beating each other senseless.

irish brawl

I am only going to put on green socks and drink alcoholic beverages because it would make a dead religious fanatic from the 5th Century very happy.

dead fanatic

This year let's spend St Patricks Day hanging out with English people and letting them push us around.

untraditional

We drink to remember St Patrick's liberation of Ireland from the Nazi-Alien occupation of 1932-1956, which you would know all about if you too watched the History Channel.

why we drink

Every St Patricks Day I pretend to be Irish by dressing in green, getting really drunk and joining the IRA. It's always so embarrassing looking at the photos the next day.

pretending to be irish

In order for me to actually enjoy St Patricks Day, I have to take all the potatoes away from you.

enjoy stpatricks day

Let's celebrate St Patricks Day with people who probably couldn't find Ireland on a map.

irish identity issues

Happy St Patricks Day. And we will get into fewer fights this year if you know that the Easter Uprising was not about a chocolate egg shortage.

st patricks day help

Lets celebrate St Patrick's Day by developing a grudge and then nurturing it for a few centuries

a grudge