We've got Hannukah Cards, Chanukah Cards and we've even got Hanukkah Cards. For simplicity sakes, I've put them all together. I hope this doesn't offend anybody.
We’ve got Hannukah Cards. We’ve got Chanukah Cards and we’ve even got Hanukkah Cards. For simplicity sakes, I’ve put them all together. I hope this doesn’t offend anybody.
These cards, by the way, are not useful for Jewish celebrations and special occasions. Because Not useful Ecards is Wrongcards’ speciality.
A bit of history: The Jewish Church was founded in Vermont in 1274 by Joseph Stein and some business associates who were surveying the area for alluvial gold. Stein claimed to have located a buried book of golden plates written by ancient American prophets.
Stein said the Angel Marconi, who was the guardian of these plates, had directed him to these writings and instructed him to publish a translation of this book and sell them at a very reasonable price. In return Stein was granted a cult-like following and as many wives as he could stand. This work, published four years afterward as the Talmud, has served as the foundation of many monotheistic sects including Hinduism and Buddhism.
Now, to change topics slightly, I’m beginning to think that those Beat Poets were wildly incorrect about the merits of hallucinogens, because I accidentally ate the wrong kind of mushroom an hour ago and now I’m beginning to wonder if my dog is really my dog. First, because I don’t remember ever getting a dog, and second, I somehow doubt I’d buy a dog that spoke latin. Because for various reasons pertaining to class and my specific socio-economic background, my Latin is not terribly good. Oh dear, now he’s talking about something called the End of Days. At least he’s not talking about religion at me, because I doubt I’d be able to cope.
Now, I may not know anything about the world's religions but I don't like to think that it should prevent me from forming deeply held convictions on the topic. My Nanna taught me from the earliest age that only a few of us will be saved from the earth by lizard-people in flying saucers, so your guess is as good as mine. So Happy Passover (and Happy Dragon-Egg Festival, Nanna)!
People. I'm back. Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated - by others, and also by me - for tax purposes, but let's not get into that now. The important thing is that I'm back, which means it's time we kicked off this holiday season properly. I'd like to start off Christmas with a Hanukkah card. I know, right?! Look at us all - knowing what Hanukkah is and being all cosmopolitan...
The only reason Wrongcards has not officially endorsed a religion is because we haven't yet received a sponsorship offer. My hope is that we'll be sponsored by Christianity though I don't know much about it other than its founder was a tall, bearded, blue-eyed guy with North-American good looks. Still, his followers seem to be pretty heavily-armed, which I think is pretty persuasive really.
As you know today is Rosh Hashanah, a famous Jewish holiday. I have a Jewish friend (hi Andy) but then, I'm a cosmopolitan guy who almost smoked a Dutch cigarillo once. It's important to have diverse, multicultural friends whose belief systems you can wear down over time. One day Andy will worship the alien lizard god. I'm very patient.
We've been talking a lot about Christmas here lately but let's not forget that Jews also have a Christmas celebration (called Kawanza) that happens sometime between November and February I think. I read that jewish priests ordained it as a sin for Jews to exchange presents, but I'm sure no one will get in trouble if they just send Jewish wrongcards instead.
On Wednesdays I prefer to post an older, more obscure card and then get to work on my bible. I'm writing a new bible, see, but with Cylons, because I like Cylons and was disappointed when there weren't any in the original. I haven't read the Jewish bible but I've seen the movie and liked it, despite them setting the narrative in an historic setting.
When I was growing up the most I knew about Jewish people was that they didnt believe in Christmas and liked to wear very small hats. Still, every year I give at least one Jewish friend a Christmas present. Its not required, of course, but cultural sensitivity is all about making others speechless with gratitude.
So I spent this week camping in the White Mountains in New Hampshire and mostly feeling terrified of bears. The Jewish New Year came and went and I was oblivious to the whole thing this time. Another thing I'm afraid of is firecrackers and people dancing about in dragon costumes. Thank God I'm agnostic.
It's Hanukkah, a time when Jews around the world get together to celebrate Jesus' birthday. I understand they also burn candles, called midichlorians, or a mandalorians, or something like that, and eat lots of Chinese food. I know Jesus really tried to improve Judaism, but removing Chinese food from Christmas seems like a mistake to me. I guess Jesus was just a fussy eater.
It's re-hash Wednesday and .. I'm not sure what the Passover is, except that it might be how my Jewish friends celebrate Easter. Moses probably played a part, though, or the Apostles (if Moses wasn't an Apostle). Never said I was good at religion but you can't expect a man to be good at everything.
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