Just Because Ecards

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Most people are neurotic, you see, and if you don't have any mental health problems, people get agitated and confused. So I sometimes i pretend to be a recovering broken-pencils smoker and now the lady in Human Resources never knows what to say to me when she sees me in the corridor. Which, if I'm being honest, has made our relationship a lot more tolerable.

Most people get upset at originality. Be different, they say, but not too different. Be unique, but not too unique. Be talented, not so much that you make others feel inadequate. Dislike, say, floral-print sofas, but don't, like, set them on fire or anything. I set a few couches on fire and everyone's like, why can't you be more ordinary, and I'm like, why is everybody so tolerant of floral-print couches? How am I the bad guy here?