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Just Because Ecards
aliens fail me
On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and celebrate other nations's holidays. I don't know much about the US Independence Day because the movie skimmed a lot of background details but I have no problem remembering Will Smith saving the earth and also punching an alien in the face.
uncomfortable
I’m a man who believes in the incredible power of the apology, especially when it comes to getting out of scrapes and evading repercussions. A bunch of people will see today’s card and think it somehow doesn’t apply to their lives. This is a rash and foolish notion and I predict that a good forty-four percent of you will send this card someday. And you know I'm right when I use statistics.
sanity first
I worry about some things. I worry that there's going to be a zombie outbreak and that most of you aren't going to approach it with the spirit of joie de vivre. 'Cause I've seen the movies and everyone runs around screaming and dying while talking earnestly about their relationships. I want you to all know that I'll do my best to help you survive but no-one is allowed to be a buzz-kill, okay?
make sure
On Wednesdays I typically post an older card, and then get to work setting up Zombie Preparedness Drills. Drive over to the cemetery at 4am with a shovel and now you've got the day's props. Next it's a matter of arranging bodies where people don't expect to see them. Like kindergartens. Sure the parents throw fits but for me civic duty comes first.
rich inner life
'People say to me: Kris - how do you do it? I say 'hard work and nothing more'. But the truth is that everything pretty much depends on Human Resources not paying too much attention to me. Happy Friday you lot.'
just stoned
'On Wednesdays I like to post a slightly older card and then I invariably I do something practical, like my taxes. I always put a dead bird into the envelope I send to the IRS - when they call me up about it I say it was an accident. FYI: federal employees are not paid enough to audit people who accidentally mail dead animals to them. I'm here to help.'
everyone should dream
On Wednesdays I always post an older card and then I spend the rest of the day giving up tea. I quaff my ninth and final cup at ten in the morning (the following three are for nostalgic purposes only). Around mid-afternoon I invariably down another final cup to fortify my resolve to quit. I'm only human; the last thing I want is for you to think I'm an addict when I'm merely an inspirational figure.
anger management
On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day listening to Rush Limbaugh. Not really. No I don't do that. It's not often that Wrongcards goes too far and posts something that tasteless on the internet but it happened right there a second ago and I'm sorry. It's a good thing Mother doesn't know about Wrongcards.
nobody thinks
This surprises people but I've never actually lost an argument. People say it's because I'm delusional but people get all sorts of fanciful ideas in their heads. (I've also never lost a game of monopoly because ghosts knock the board off the table whenever I'm losing). Whatever. It doesn't matter. The point is that today's card is here.
mauled by grizzly bears
On Wednesdays I typically post an older card that you might not have seen, and then I spend the afternoon writing letters to the International Olympic Committee demanding they introduce Competitive Humming into the London Olympics. It won't work, but at least the person who opens their mail will have a really weird day.