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Just Because Ecards
disregard bison
A new workplace card is long overdue. When I sat down to create one today my mind turned naturally and predictably to the large, even-toed ungulates within the subfamily Bovinae, or bison. Please don't attempt to connect the dots - the association makes vivid sense provided it is not subjected to careful analysis.
effective lesson
In my tireless campaign to teach responsible parenting I do occasionally take a mistep. But this is only because I lack any real experience in child-raising. I don't know if today's card is a mistep but I do think that it is, at the very least, true. And you can't fault a person for being right, can you?
being evil
Do you ever find yourself blacking out and waking up hours later in a field several miles from your home holding a dead squirrel and having no memory of how you got there? Yeah, I don't either and I blame the people around me for expecting more of me than that. I did a card about Being Evil. I don't advise sending it to anyone.
middle management
You know what bugs me? Being told I have pathological problems with authority. I just don't see it, man. And besides, why I should be subjected to psycho-babble just because I rightly understand that if I don't terrorize a middle-manager every day the entire world will fall into a thousand years of darkness, with pestilence and giant clowns? I'm a bit disappointed in psychiatry, too, obviously.
photocopier advice
I think I made this card for the Covid outbreak, as a way of encouraging people to use hand sanitizer. Yes, technically I first published this card in May, 2010, but I've always been ahead of the curve.
busy all day
On Wednesdays I like to post an older card like this and then spend the rest of the day writing letters to various newspaper editors requesting more coverage of the small African nation of Bunwabe. I sign the letters 'concerned'. Bunwabe is a country I completely made up. I believe that one day I'll know why I do this.
ghost monkeys
On Wednesdays I traditionally post an older card and then spend the rest of the day praising Rupert Murdoch's allegedly corrupt publishing empire. That they may or may not have bugged my phone and recorded me drunkenly singing Jewel songs at 2am has only made me more supportive of them.
