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WTF Ecards

WTF Ecard with text: 'Society was not yet ready for what Mister Bunny and I shared together that hot complicated summer in the long grass behind my Aunt's old farm house. But looking back through the window of memory I simply recall him as he no doubt was: a sensitive yet utterly spoiled stuffed toy with an irrepressible curiosity about his body and, to my delight, my own.'

society was not ready

On Wednesdays I like to post an older card for the sake of nostalgia and spend the rest of the day warning people about minotaurs stealing our jobs. I'll keep doing that until Fox News finally runs a panel discussion on the subject. Then I'll just retire in sick horror.

WTF

WTF Ecard with text: there are no wolves in the supermarket. believe it all you want but if you're ever wrong you're dead.

supermarket wolf

I've given it some thought and decided that you all deserve a toasted cheese sandwich. Is this some kind of Wrongcards give-away? I'm afraid not. I cannot yet be everywhere because I am not yet a god. You'll have to make your own sandwich but my point here is that you deserve it. Logic is my superpower.

WTF

sometimes

I'm going to go and pass out in a moment and my consciousness will disappear for roughly six hours but when I awaken, fresh and thirsting for vengeance against the Vicissitudes of Fate, I will go down to the local Starbucks and speak this card's caption to the first stranger that I see. That is how I fix the world.

WTF

WTF Ecard with text: Not long after I became a werewolf people stopped being able to detect when I was exaggerating.

werewolves exaggerate

The cards in the WTF category are so specific that the the likelihood of finding one that is useful is very small. Today's card, for example, is useful if you happen to be a mildly frustrated werewolf. But if you should ever become a mildly frustrated werewolf one day, you'll thank me. Thats why I do this.

WTF

WTF Ecard with text: You can tell your kids that they probably can't make mutant friends who'll help them fight crime with them this way, but it's probably a more effective lesson if you just let them work it out for themselves.

effective lesson

In my tireless campaign to teach responsible parenting I do occasionally take a mistep. But this is only because I lack any real experience in child-raising. I don't know if today's card is a mistep but I do think that it is, at the very least, true. And you can't fault a person for being right, can you?

WTF

WTF Ecard with text: No matter how lonely you get never turn to sheep. They are very disappointing, emotionally, even though they squirm nicely.

sheep are disappointing

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WTF

ghost monkeys

On Wednesdays I traditionally post an older card and then spend the rest of the day praising Rupert Murdoch's allegedly corrupt publishing empire. That they may or may not have bugged my phone and recorded me drunkenly singing Jewel songs at 2am has only made me more supportive of them.

WTF