Wrongcards and the Bottle of Spanish Rum
Today’s newsletter is brought to you by the makers of a bottle of rum that I picked up in Spain for - I’m not joking - five and a half euro. I know it’s a good brand of rum because there’s an illustration of a ship on the bottle. I don’t even drink, normally, but people keep implying that I need to acquire a working knowledge of alcohol, so here we are.
It’s a socio-economic thing, I gather. You reach a certain stage of life where you’re less worried about keeping a roof over your head than you are about encountering the inevitable horror that is The Talkative Wine Expert At A Party.
Fellers, you know how it is. You get dragged along to some place or venue, and everyone is wearing clean clothes - blokes in collared shirts, not a hoodie in sight - and you’re expected to converse knowledgeably about the rare earths ambiance of a Riesling or something, and how the tungsten in the soil gives it that flavor of dried wasp wings or whatever.
So I’ve spent my morning trying to get to the bottom of this bottle of five euro rum, just so I can be more impressively well-informed at these parties. And I am feeling kinda impressively well-informed already, let me tell you. I’ve decided that my alcohol knowledge specialization will be rum and cokes. I’ll know all the history and everything.
Don’t panic, everyone, I’m still me. I’m still walking out of these parties with my pockets filled with cake, otherwise what would be the point in even living?
Hey, I’ve put the first five chapters of my book, The Harvard Skull Fiasco, up where you cool kids can read it. (Feedback warmly appreciated; just reply to this email).
Now let’s look at the latest cards.