Tagged as #alcohol.


dead fanatic

Like everyone else here, I like to live according to the whims and moral sensibilities of the dead. Countless times I've paused before eating a bun and wondered what St. Gabriel would have to say about its scarcity of raisins. St. Gabriel is the patron saint of communicators (but still the Vatican communicates via smoke signals?!). St. Patrick? I think he hated snakes or something
Ecard text: I am only going to put on green socks and drink alcoholic beverages because it would make a dead religious fanatic from the 5th Century very happy.

pretending to be irish

It's re-hash Wednesday and St Patrick's Day is nigh, meaning that fifth-generation Americans will suddenly announce they've been Irish all this time and go out to Samuel Becket readings or stay in to argue passionately about which among Joyce, Heaney and Yeats provided the world with the most literary description of the potato. See? That was one sentence. It's called brevity, Joyce.
Ecard text: Every St Patricks Day I pretend to be Irish by dressing in green, getting really drunk and joining the IRA. It's always so embarrassing looking at the photos the next day.

how much alcohol

Ecard text: how much alcohol would I be required to buy you so I might clumsily paw at your body without you objecting much?

sabotage is thirsty work

Ecard text: Another busy week spent undermining the strategic interests of the company via acts of corporate sabotage and subversion. Dude we totally deserve to get drunk.

recycling

Ecard text: when i was a kid, captain planet used to come over to my house and teach me about recycling ordinary house hold items that most people discard after just one use. captain planet usually spelt of whiskey.

not beer and strippers

Ecard text: and i am sorry i suggested we celebrate with beer and strippers. you're right a romantic candlelight dinner in an expensive restaurant and talking about emotions is what i wanted to do also., , , ,

my awesomeness

Ecard text: i have found that drunkenness makes me more charming, witty, and generally more awesome to members of the opposite sex.

the money we save

Ecard text: The money we save by sending free ecards instead of expensive gifts may then be completely wasted on alcohol. they'll say we're cheap, but no one ever appreciates the rich subtleties of genius.

sober for one day

Ecard text: congratulations - we've been sober for one entire day

this whole situation

Ecard text: this whole situation of having to be mature is getting to be pretty freaking boring. so let's get mashed