free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

disappointment

May 17, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Apology Ecard with text: i am sorry you thought this was going to be a sincere apology when all this was ever destined to be was a nice picture of an aardvark.
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about this card:
disappointment | Sometimes I coordinate workplace behavioral studies. For instance, it is possible to stimulate the amygdala, or the 'panic' center of the brain, merely by setting ordinary office equipment on fire. I then write copious notes on how my co-workers react. Because that's how much I want to be a scientist. This apology card should be sent after the firemen turn off the automatic sprinkler system.

in my defense

April 30, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Apology Ecard with text: Im sorry that we argued and that you lost that argument, but in my defense, I wasnt trying very hard to win.
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about this card:
in my defense | Ever done anything that required a sincere apology later? Me either. I've certainly apologized for some minor acts of arson, and that time I forgot to carry my own tray to the trash bins in the food court, but apologies aren't about right or wrong. Apologies are like nailing a dead fruit bat to someone's door; you don't want to do it but it's an easy way of quieting a person down. I'm here to help.

hallucinated

January 9, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry you got angry at me when I contradicted your hallucinated version of reality.
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about this card:
hallucinated | Whenever I apologize to someone I always try to make it sound heartfelt and sincere. I believe the best way of sounding heartfelt and sincere is the employment of a giraffe sock puppet. If you don't own one, ask the person to whom you are apologizing to simply imagine you have one on your hand. You should also warn them that the giraffe is a bit 'bitey'. Just in case your apology isn't good enough for them.

argument

November 13, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Apology Ecard with text: I am deeply and sincerely sorry that you thought you could beat me in an argument.
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about this card:
argument | They say the best way to fight fire is with fire, but fire is useful for fighting all sorts of other things. Bees, for instance. Noisy neighbors. People who stand near bus stops in rabbit costumes. On another topic - sometimes people will try to get you to apologize by apologizing first for something less significant than, say, setting fire to someone's aunt. It's a rhetorical trick - don't fall for it!