breast defense

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry for what I did or did not do. Though in my defence this entire relationship was caused by your breasts. (Illustration of badger with the caption - A BADGER. Why does everything have to be relevent?) — **about this card:**
*breast defense* | ... and then it occurred to me that many men will be forgetting Valentines Day, and thus might be in dire need of an apology card tomorrow. Think about it. Think of the countless men who will awaken tomorrow to a frosty silence and spend the first half of the day in frozen bewilderment as to what the hell they forgot to do. And you thought YOU had problems.

commonality

Father's Day Ecard with text: Happy Father's Day, even if we don't have much in common other than an early interest in my Mother's breasts. — **about this card:**
*commonality* | Look over your shoulder - is somebody there? If not, quietly click on the link and look upon the Wrongcard that you won't be sending your Dad for Father's Day. Then - close the window and try not to think about it too much.

life affirming

Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: Im sorry that death is such a buzz kill and that Ive been thinking more about breasts than your tragic loss. I just find them very life-affirming. See? Life-affirming.

too old to be breast-fed

Mother's Day Ecard with text: i'm too old to be breast-fed, ma!

latest newsletters

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.