free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

or much too much

August 15, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Baby Ecard with text: Am relieved to hear you are pregnant and not merely eating too much cake.
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about this card:
or much too much | Earlier this week I was in a pillow-fight at a party and for some perverse reason I was being targeted by everyone, and this two-year old child came wandering past in diapers so I picked him up by the leg and used him as a human shield. Then I got a talking-to for most of an hour. I had no idea people get so emotional about human shields. Today's card is something I said that night.

spiders are sensitive

April 22, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Birthday Ecard with text: Be careful when you are cutting your birthday cake in case in contains a nest of spiders. Lunging at spiders with a knife might make them misinterpret the situation.
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about this card:
spiders are sensitive | It's someone's birthday today, maybe not yours or mine but it's someone's; it's commonsense. I know lots about people and most of what I know about people I learned from spiders. Though wasps, when you think about it, are a kind of winged spider. Spiders don't hum like wasps, they just whistle. Nobody really knows why.

cake

April 28, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
Apology Ecard with text: I will forgive you for not making me a better person if you make cake.
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about this card:
cake | I'm a good boy: I visit Mother once every three years whether I want to or not, though I tend not to call her on Mothers Day in case she starts to get uppish. I'm a firm believer in doing nice things for Mother so I will probably remember to send her this card this year.

your alleged cake

July 26, 2010 · Kris St.Gabriel
Birthday Ecard with text: It's your birthday! They give you a cake. And then a crowd of people help themselves to a slice. And everybody congratulates you while they eat your alleged cake. They eat it all up in front of you and you only get one slice, maybe two.
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about this card:
your alleged cake | It may not be your birthday today but I made each and every one of you this birthday card anyway. Just in case. Oh shush, it was nothing.