thanksgiving turkey

Happy Thanksgiving Ecard with text: I'm bringing a friend to Thanksgiving. But you don't have to worry, it won't get awkward. Murry is a cannibal. (picture of a turkey at the table, getting ready to eat a cooked turkey.) — **about this card:**
*thanksgiving turkey* | "Thanksgiving started when a bunch of Americans fed some half-starved illegal immigrants. The illegals, a bunch of religious extremists who liked to wear amusing hats, got drunk and kept calling the Americans 'Indians' for a joke. The Americans were cool about it though and, to commemorate that fact, the descendants of those illegal immigrants dine once a year with a bunch of people they don't like." (This is why people don't invite me to Thanksgiving anymore).

catholic vegetarian

Dark Humor Ecard with text: Maybe Jesus wouldn't have avoided us so much in the last 2000 years if we hadn't kept ritualistically eating his corpse. — **about this card:**
*catholic vegetarian* | My Grandmother taught me everything there is to know about world religions, ie. lizards from space have infiltrated all world governments, we're part of the resistance, and all other religious beliefs are crazy. She taught me to be tolerant, and believe in all religions, except when they contradict the stuff about lizards because that's just CIA disinformation to test our faith. Hi Nanna!

pretty weird

Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: 'I am sorry about your sudden and tragic loss. And can I spare you what was, for me, a painful lesson and suggest you do not idly bring up the topic of cannibalism? Take it from me: people can get pretty weird at you about it.'

latest newsletters

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.