irish brawl

St Patricks's Day Ecard with text: Let's celebrate St Patricks Day by dividing into two teams along arbitrary religious lines and then beating each other senseless. — **about this card:**
*irish brawl* | I'm not saying that St. Patricks Day is a conspiracy perpetrated by Irish brewing countries in league with a cartel of manufacturers of green food coloring. No wait a minute, that IS what I'm trying to say. Sorry, there's something about this holiday that gets me all muddled. It might possibly be the alcohol speaking. Look, I'm very good at research.

pointy hats

Dark Humor Ecard with text: Jesus was very adamant. All human relationships with the higher power must be negotiated by a priesthood of men in a palace, presided over by a man in a very pointy hat. It's a Bible thing. — **about this card:**
*pointy hats* | These are exciting times for me. The current pope is resigning, for reasons that an internal Vatican inquiry has declared entirely unrelated to my letters, and so obviously I'm focused on my resume and cover letter right now. I'm emphasizing that I've watched every episode of The Borgias, and that hardly any Cardinals will be poisoned or blackmailed. I'm going to win this.

frocked up

Easter Greetings Ecard with text: At Easter it is considered traditional to receive spiritual guidance from celibate men in frocks who like to be lenient about men who sleep with children. — **about this card:**
*frocked up* | I hope it's not too soon to post this. I like Easter because it is all a relatively safe topic and I generally run much less risk of accidentally saying something controversial. Happy Thursday everyone!

being evil

Workplace Ecard with text: I have been looking into it and apparently being evil pays pretty well and is probably more rewarding than what I'm doing now. — **about this card:**
*being evil* | Do you ever find yourself blacking out and waking up hours later in a field several miles from your home holding a dead squirrel and having no memory of how you got there? Yeah, I don't either and I blame the people around me for expecting more of me than that. I did a card about Being Evil. I don't advise sending it to anyone.

latest 5 newsletters

In which I accidentally create a religion.

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.