Free ecards that are wrong for every occasion.

pretending pinata

June 12, 2013
WTF Ecard with text: I have learned that if it starts yowling, it is probably only pretending to be a piñata. In which case one should stop drinking immediately.
view

about this card:
pretending pinata | I've always wanted to have a psychiatrist who lasts more than one session. But after my hour is up they tend to be anxious to refer me to someone else. Or they disappear, forcing me to break into their house and read their private correspondence in order to track them down. One guy is in a sanatorium in Geneva. I'm wearing that dude's slippers.

cat safety

May 8, 2012
Mother's Day Ecard with text: Happy Mothers Day. Thank you for raising me to be someone around whom cats are very safe, no matter how amorous I might be feeling.
view

about this card:
cat safety | I had a pretty normal childhood even though I was raised by my Nanna after my parents were kidnapped by lizard people. Nanna was in the underground before our side surrendered, and she had to live in 'psychic hiding' (constant inebriation) to avoid detection by mind scanners. So coming up with Mothers Day cards is, of course, a bit tricky. But what I like about this card is that it is reassuring.

nihilist cat

October 26, 2011
Halloween Greetings Ecard with text: Every year my stupid voodoo-obsessed cat starts prophesying your death. Next time I'm getting one that's a nihilist.
view

about this card:
nihilist cat | On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day trying to convince a single individual that I am some kind of imaginary friend that only they can see.

inconsequential things

October 10, 2011
CheerUp Ecard with text: Cheer up and stop fretting about inconsequential things. Because brain aneuryisms can leave you paralyzed while you are slowly eaten by domestic cats.
view

about this card:
inconsequential things | Whenever people get sad I usually try to make them feel better. I talk about the brief and anonymous life of the gastrotrich, a microscopic fresh-water creature that only lives for three days. People don't like to get sad around me.