sexy octopus

Valentines Ecard with text: If you think about it, there's nothing sexier than an octopus. — **about this card:**
*sexy octopus* | Well, I wrote a book and it turns out that everybody who knows me will only read it if I suggest THEY'RE in the book (narcissism is rampant these days. SAD!) So I just hint that they only turn up in this one very tasteful sex scene with an octopus, and off they go to buy my book! Works a charm. It's all nonsense - little kids could read my book - but the point is, wow I'm a marketing god.

flee from cephalopods

Workplace Ecard with text: You are not allowed to be bored at work until AFTER you have forced Human Resources to amend the Employee Handbook with fourteen pages detailing the prohibition of Weaponized Squid Delivery Devices. — **about this card:**
*flee from cephalopods* | Sometimes when I need my subordinates to take my authority seriously I hire an elderly actor to talk to an empty chair. It reassures them. I have only drugged my employees' orange juice twice, and only as a joke, not to extend their productivity or anything because that would be unethical. I believe a workplace should be happy place filled with experimentation and fear.

dude

WTF Ecard with text: Dude we really should have read the descriptions when choosing our deity.

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I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.