free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

antlers

February 19, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Baby Ecard with text: Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope your child is born with antlers because antlers are frickin sweet and nobody is the playground is gonna mess with a child born with antlers.
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about this card:
antlers | Last week there was a lot of lovey-dovey romance talk here because of Valentines Day. Did you know that romance can lead to babies? That makes me uneasy. As far as pets go, babies are expensive. My pet wasp swarm, in contrast, is very cheap to feed: like, two hobos a month or something. I like babies but if you think about it long enough you'll see that wasps are cooler.

favoritism

March 27, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
Family Ecard with text: I think that if you had been an only child, you would have become lonely and tried to imagine me. And that would have become dangerous because if your imagination had summoned me, I would have wound up becoming our parents favorite again.
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about this card:
favoritism | A Family Card today that touches on the subject of sibling rivalry, with apologies to the 'only child's among us. And apologies as well to orphans and people who burned their families' house down, because they probably find cards mentioning siblings somewhat tactless. You see how it's hard to please everybody.

lazy and unmotivated

August 8, 2010 · Kris St.Gabriel
Baby Ecard with text: Aside from the fact that, generally speaking, your baby has poor personal hygiene and is lazy, incoherent, unmotivated, self-absorbed, and hogging all the attention, I think the child has a lot to recommend it.
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about this card:
lazy and unmotivated | 'People are always going and having babies and expecting us to give them gifts. But how can anything we give them top The Miracle of Life? Thats what I ask, but everyone says: no, no you've got to give them a present anyway. So I send a small bottle of rum ("for the baby") or an ecard like this one. Anything to avoid babysitting.'