Tagged as #children.


hatchets

I know that Christmas has traditionally been about department stores making money but I've always hoped it might one day become a holiday for children. For some reason people assume I'm cynical but I've always liked children: they're funny, and they remind me of how each of us used to be - truthful, spontaneous, amoral and interesting. No child has ever once bored me with talk of mortgages or promotions. So our first Christmas wrongcard is for the children.
Ecard text: Never annoy a dozen 4-year-olds who are armed with hatchets. Because they could probably take you down.

sibling rivalry

Like most people I had parents. They ran a complex experiment on me called 'raising a child without reading a book or consulting anybody who has done it before'. But they must have done something right because God says he prefers me to just about everybody else in the world. In fact I could become a prophet but I suffer from a phobia of beards. Today's card is about families.
Ecard text: The most effective way to deal with any manifestation of sibling rivalry among small children is to issue them with light sabers.

prepare your children

Ecard text: prepare your children for their real economic future. teach them how to pick pockets.

babies are cute

Ecard text: don't misunderstand me, I think babies are cute! It's children, adolescents and adults who are the monsters.