Tagged as #chocolate.


easter psa

I’m in San Francisco writing a script for a Canadian TV adaption of Breaking Bad. The story is set in Alberta. The lead character gets cancer, receives free government healthcare, makes a full recovery and lots of nice friends. I really tried to put a rabbit into the story but it kept touching balloon animals inappropriately. Rabbits. They're so wrong.,
Ecard text: This Easter - do not eat any eggs that come out of a rabbit. They are not chocolate.

raptors

Some say that Valentines Day is a commercialized confidence trick played on lovers, a cloying manufactured holiday, a manipulative marketing mechanism. But me? I only worry about two things. One, that if you don't buy someone chocolate right now, your entire relationship will crumble to pieces. And two, that raptors may not be as extinct as "the authorities" claim.
Ecard text: Happy Valentines Day, etc. I honestly bought you chocolate but can no longer find it and am now operating under the theory that it was eaten by raptors.

easter lesson

I've been meaning to become religious for a while now. I think I'd be really good at it. Everyone would be DAMN he's good at being religious, and I'd be like I KNOW RIGHT. I'd be better at being religious than Jesus, who, let's face it, kept a back-up career just in case (carpentry). My favorite quote by Jesus? "Live by the carpentry, die by the carpentry." See? Good at being religious.
Ecard text: The lesson I have taken away from Easter is that if you are really, really, really nice to people, you will be betrayed by your friends, murdered and then, 2000 years later, everyone will remember you by eating a randomly chosen chocolate animal.

st patricks day help

Ecard text: Happy St Patricks Day. And we will get into fewer fights this year if you know that the Easter Uprising was not about a chocolate egg shortage.

unthanked benefactor

This week's Re-hash Wednesday card is, predictably, an Easter card. And for the record: You Probably Shouldn't Send It to Anyone. You see what I did there? I urged you to live responsibly. Good. My work here is done.
Ecard text: When we are eating our Easter Eggs this year we should remember to give thanks to Judas for making the holiday possible.

chocolate vendors

Ecard text: Happy Easter from somebody who feels like the whole holiday is an elaborate prank perpetrated by chocolate vendors.

i might share chocolate

Ecard text: Be my Valentine and I might share some chocolates with you or something. Though  I also might not. Chocolate is kind of nice.