free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

monopoly

October 16, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Family Ecard with text: One way to ensure that your children will do all their chores and homework is to carefully monopolize the household's supply of cigarettes.
view send

about this card:
monopoly | I was listening to some poor, hapless parent talking about how hard it was to get their kid to enter the civilized world and, before I knew it, the words of today's wrongcard fell off my tongue. If I ever become a parent I want to do it the old-fashioned way: accidentally. I look forward to it, I suppose; it just seems so romantic to flee a country and live under a false identity.

black mold

August 29, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
OCD Ecard with text: Black Mold. It often lives undetected in houses. According to a 1999 study at the Mayo Clinc, Black MOld is the cause of nearly all chronic sinus infection. It can cause headaches, depression, hair loss, nosebleeds, and death. So faor the love of God, clean the damned house before you kill us all!
view send

about this card:
black mold | I'm not the tidiest person but that doesn't mean my friends shouldn't be. Sometimes I'll go over to a mate's place and think: how nice that you feel comfortable enough not to clean up before I arrive. So I tell them what Black Mold is. Ten minutes later they'll be disinfecting the linoleum under the fridge while I watch on, eating all the biscuits. You see, I have always liked biscuits.

chilling

July 6, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Excuses Ecard with text: The fact that you even want me to do chores around the house reveals a chilling lack of empathy.
view send

about this card:
chilling | I´m sitting on a patio beneath a trellis crawling with lazy grape vines. To my left is a patchwork hill of olive trees and in front of me is a swimming pool. Someone just asked me to help sweep something or clean. I don´t know. I wasn´t listening. I just mention it to reveal how unrealistic people can be when it comes to human psychology. Especially mine.

chores vs video games

February 21, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Excuses Ecard with text: The only thing that has prevented me from doing the chores you asked me to do is my discovery that video games are just more enjoyable.
view send

about this card:
chores vs video games | As an emotionally intelligent individual I’m aware that everybody makes mistakes. And I should know - I made a mistake once, a sad story that involves me sharing an ice cream that resulted in me having to eat less than half. Fortunately my fallibility makes me good at making excuses...

highly successful people

February 28, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
Inspirational Ecard with text: To be successful, one should always adopt the habits of highly successful people. And I don't think there is a single successful person alive who does chores.
view send

about this card:
highly successful people | Let's start off the week with an inspirational card. Of course, one might disagree with this card but that would require a perverse and contrary psychology. The thought of people disagreeing with me always makes me feel wistful and sad. What a troubled world. Anyway, here is today's card to make it all better.

divided labor

September 15, 2010 · Kris St.Gabriel
Family Ecard with text: How about you do all the housework and i'll focus on being awesome, and one day i'll thank you briefly in an appendix of my memoirs.
view send

about this card:
divided labor | Chores. Some want to do them, some don't. The problem is that the people who WANT to do chores always insist that the people who DON'T want to do them should also want to do them. I'd rather lay on a beach than do chores myself, but I've always been an individualist. Here's today's card.