Tagged as #chores.


monopoly

I was listening to some poor, hapless parent talking about how hard it was to get their kid to enter the civilized world and, before I knew it, the words of today's wrongcard fell off my tongue. If I ever become a parent I want to do it the old-fashioned way: accidentally. I look forward to it, I suppose; it just seems so romantic to flee a country and live under a false identity.
Ecard text: One way to ensure that your children will do all their chores and homework is to carefully monopolize the household's supply of cigarettes.

black mold

I'm not the tidiest person but that doesn't mean my friends shouldn't be. Sometimes I'll go over to a mate's place and think: how nice that you feel comfortable enough not to clean up before I arrive. So I tell them what Black Mold is. Ten minutes later they'll be disinfecting the linoleum under the fridge while I watch on, eating all the biscuits. You see, I have always liked biscuits.
Ecard text: Black Mold. It often lives undetected in houses. According to a 1999 study at the Mayo Clinc, Black MOld is the cause of nearly all chronic sinus infection. It can cause headaches, depression, hair loss, nosebleeds, and death. So faor the love of God, clean the damned house before you kill us all!

chilling

I´m sitting on a patio beneath a trellis crawling with lazy grape vines. To my left is a patchwork hill of olive trees and in front of me is a swimming pool. Someone just asked me to help sweep something or clean. I don´t know. I wasn´t listening. I just mention it to reveal how unrealistic people can be when it comes to human psychology. Especially mine.
Ecard text: The fact that you even want me to do chores around the house reveals a chilling lack of empathy.

chores vs video games

As an emotionally intelligent individual I’m aware that everybody makes mistakes. And I should know - I made a mistake once, a sad story that involves me sharing an ice cream that resulted in me having to eat less than half. Fortunately my fallibility makes me good at making excuses...
Ecard text: The only thing that has prevented me from doing the chores you asked me to do is my discovery that video games are just more enjoyable.

highly successful people

Let's start off the week with an inspirational card. Of course, one might disagree with this card but that would require a perverse and contrary psychology. The thought of people disagreeing with me always makes me feel wistful and sad. What a troubled world. Anyway, here is today's card to make it all better.
Ecard text: To be successful, one should always adopt the habits of highly successful people. And I don't think there is a single successful person alive who does chores.

divided labor

Chores. Some want to do them, some don't. The problem is that the people who WANT to do chores always insist that the people who DON'T want to do them should also want to do them. I'd rather lay on a beach than do chores myself, but I've always been an individualist. Here's today's card.
Ecard text: How about you do all the housework and i'll focus on being awesome, and one day i'll thank you briefly in an appendix of my memoirs.

deserving rewards

Ecard text: I remembered it is our anniversary. I also did my chores so technically I deserve for you to unlock the plastic animals cabinet.