Free ecards that are wrong for every occasion.

guilty

January 14, 2013
Love Ecard with text: I can tell that I love you by the way I like to make you feel guilty about bullshit.
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about this card:
guilty | 'Love makes us great! Example: if Lance Armstrong hadn't been so in love with fame and money he wouldn't have frauded his way to a 100+ million dollar fortune. See? That's not logic, that's romance! Like Lance I'm a wildly romantic person too, though it's tempered with a sensible streak of feminism so when on a date I let the chick buy my meal. I also haven't cried on Oprah yet but I'll get to that.'

unambiguous

August 15, 2012
Apology Ecard with text: I'm sorry my use of clear and unambiguous language has been a source of so many misunderstandings.
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about this card:
unambiguous | On Wednesdays I typically like to post an older card you might not have seen yet and then I spend the rest of the day posting pages and pages of random numbers to random postal addresses over in eastern Afghanistan and north-west Pakistan. It'll probably drive a couple of people at the CIA completely nuts. You know, I wasn't like this at all until the government cancelled Gilmore Girls.

communication

April 13, 2012
Thinking of You Ecard with text: I’m not telling you why I am angry  with you because I don’t want  “communication” to rob our  relationship of its mystery.
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about this card:
communication | I've never been a person who makes up excuses but that has never been my fault. Usually I was too busy, or a thing came up, or I had to stay late or I was volunteering at a hospital helping nurses put on stockings. But nowadays I think 'inventing excuses' is my calling. I'd like to elaborate further but there's a helicopter waiting to take me to the White House. Look, my life is complicated.

moderate quality

January 27, 2012
CheerUp Ecard with text: I like you more than I'd like two prostitutes of moderate quality.
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about this card:
moderate quality | A lot of men find it difficult to express themselves emotionally, but that's only because a lot of men these days don't drink a lot of whiskey. Men, it's easy to speak your mind; all you have to do is make sure nobody is home, lock the doors and whisper. I can't believe we have a reputation for being unable to communicate.

busy killing nazis

July 22, 2009
Apology Ecard with text: i am sorry that you only seem to want to communicate when i'm busy killing Nazis.
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about this card:
busy killing nazis | Tradition dictates that I post an older card on Wednesdays, and today's card explores the same theme as yesterday's - that is: miscommunication. BTW, I've given a lot of thought to the topic of miscommunication and have decided I'm in favor of it overall. It also keeps me in business.