Tagged as #dad.


birds and bees

My Dad wasn't around much when I was a kid 'cause he was busy walking on the moon or making movies, so I had 20 or so 'other Dads', owing to Nanna's natural charisma. They taught me all sorts of things, like how to borrow cars, how to grow plants inside a cupboard and how to drive quickly away from banks. Today's card? Send it to your Dad(s).
Ecard text: Happy Fathers Day and thank you for teaching me about the birds and the bees by leaving your porn stash in a location that was conveniently accessible to children.

self-made man

I’m aware I have had certain advantages in life. Not every boy gets to grow up knowing his dad was both an astronaut AND an arctic explorer. My grandmother says it’s a pity my dad had to go into hiding when the lizard people from Rigel VI surreptitiously took control of all the world’s major governments, because I’d have really liked him.
Ecard text: Dad, thanks for turning me into a self-made man

commonality

Look over your shoulder - is somebody there? If not, quietly click on the link and look upon the Wrongcard that you won't be sending your Dad for Father's Day. Then - close the window and try not to think about it too much.
Ecard text: Happy Father's Day, even if we don't have much in common other than an early interest in my Mother's breasts.

legitimate fathers day

Ecard text: Happy father's day from one of your more legitimate children

trapped in a bubble

Ecard text: happy father's day and thank you for making sure that half of my genetic material did not wind up trapped in a bubble of latex.

not my real father

Ecard text: I would have forked out real money for a real Fathers Day card, but it turns out that God is my real father.

taking the time

Ecard text: dear dad, thank you for taking the time to knock-up my mother. you sure earned this father's day card. your child.