best thing

Thinking of You Ecard with text: You are the best thing that ever happened to me except for that one time when I found half a clown under a bridge. That was a great day! — **about this card:**
*best thing* | People often say to me 'hey, be careful or you'll set fire to that couch!' Another thing they say is, 'you're a good guy, Che, and a pillar of this community.' And I'm thankful too, which is something you should always feel or at least pretend to feel. This morning I made this card as a way of saying Thank You to people. Don't thank me - well, no, you should absolutely thank me. That's the point, right?

an ideal resolution

New Year's Ecard with text: the ideal New Years Resolution should include the mention of a dead clown, a chain-saw, a stolen golf buggy, half a pound of peyote and a determination to improve oneself.

a paper card

Birthday Ecard with text: you don't want a paper card with pictures of puppies and balloons on your birthday. you want a wrongcard with a picture of a dead clown. happy birthday. — **about this card:**
*a paper card* | You probably all thought I was dead. Can you not be so morbid? Anyway, unrelated but if any of you are suffering a life-threatening illness, can you PLEASE not leave your body to science and leave it to me? We're four weeks out from Halloween and I haven't got my authentic porch ornaments sorted. If the folks next door want to make 'Halloween decorations' a competition, then fine. Bring it Karen.

latest newsletters

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.