free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

misheard

August 1, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Thinking of You Ecard with text: I was sorry to hear that you had died, and am sending you this ecard on the chance that I simply misheard.
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about this card:
misheard | 'I have a theory. Have you ever vomited and thought: "My God, there's tiny bits of carrots in it. Look at 'em all. Wait, I didn't eat carrots. When's the last time I ate carrots? I need to eat more carrots." Anyway I have a theory. Your appendix? It produces tiny pieces of carrot for when you throw up. That's my theory. (I never said it was a good theory).'

leaving your body

June 5, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Thinking of You Ecard with text: Don't leave your body to science, leave it to me. Necromancers aren't just born, you know. It all takes practice.
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about this card:
leaving your body | What time is it? Today's rehash Wednesday card is here, but I am in Spain, and it's sunset now but the clock says it's 10pm. That can't be right, can it? Also it feels like a Tuesday. The claw-hammer of jetlag is offering mixed opinions. Who invented jetlag? The Wright Brothers. Those guys are overrated. Screw you Wright Brothers I'm eating breakfast.

birthday heart

February 1, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday. And remember: heart disease kills about one in every four people.
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about this card:
birthday heart | If you know someone who is having a birthday right now you have to send them today's wrongcard. Because it's, like, Providence or something that this card should appear in your life and you have to do it. To ignore Providence is like ignoring God. And we don't do that, okay, because there will be floods and I'll have to build an Ark. If I build an Ark I'm not inviting any bears on-board. Screw that.

mauled by grizzly bears

February 29, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Inspirational Ecard with text: This year you have not been mauled to death by pissed off Grizzly Bears. Clearly whatever you are doing to keep Grizzly Bears at Bay is working.
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about this card:
mauled by grizzly bears | On Wednesdays I typically post an older card that you might not have seen, and then I spend the afternoon writing letters to the International Olympic Committee demanding they introduce Competitive Humming into the London Olympics. It won't work, but at least the person who opens their mail will have a really weird day.

unsuspicious

September 26, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
Excuses Ecard with text:
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about this card:
unsuspicious | The solitary purpose of an Excuses Card is to extricate you from a social obligation. Just send a wrongcard and let me tell lies on your behalf. See? Your conscience is clear. And my conscience? I don't have one yet but I promise that a conscience is the first thing I'm going to buy when I'm rich.

experimentation purposes

September 6, 2010 · Kris St.Gabriel
Thinking of You Ecard with text: I want to assure you that, in the event of your untimely death, I would disturb your earthly remains for experimentation purposes only.
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about this card:
experimentation purposes | Sometimes people worry about death. But more often people worry about their earthly remains and whether a close personal friend might be planning to disinter their bodies for one reason or another. So I made a card that you can send along as a reassurance.