Tagged as #decorations.


bright side

I dislike funerals 'cause afterwards you have to go and mill about at someone's house and there is always potato salad covered in plastic wrap. And I really hate potato salad. But my job requires that I write Sympathy Cards, so I have to brush all the nausea under a metaphorical rug and be professional about death. Today's card? Consummate professionalism about death right there.
Ecard text: I am sorry for your tragic loss. But on the bright side you now have a really authentic Halloween decoration.

plastic morbidity

Ecard text: If you dont decorate the front of your house with morbid, grisly plastic ornaments that were manufactured in China, then people think you're some kind of weirdo.

halloween decorations

Ecard text: Decorating a front lawn with the rotting fruits of a late-night grave robbery is a felony. But sometimes, an authentic Halloween requires that we go that extra mile.