midnight contract

Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday. And if at midnight a demon appears in your room talking about some contract I supposedly signed in your name, just ignore him. He is not to be taken seriously and is merely confused. — **about this card:**
*midnight contract* | I hate seeing humanoids with black eyeballs. It makes it so much harder to relate to them. Now I'm not a judgmental person (except when I take an instant dislike to someone because I don't like their hat) but if I see a reptilian creature with bat wings I cross the street. I think it's because I don't want to get caught up in all their drama.

psycho easter bunny

Easter Greetings Ecard with text: I’m not saying that you should teach children that the Easter Bunny is a psychotic pan-dimensional demon clown that harvests the souls of bad children with a bloodied rake. I’m saying that if you don’t you’re wasting an opportunity. — **about this card:**
*psycho easter bunny* | Easter? Just a conspiracy perpetrated by a cartel of chocolate manufacturers, right? I mean, we don't own it - some pointy-hatted pontiff does. Sure we can take it back .. from the clergy, the factory-owners, the companies that market diabetes drugs. You see, anyone can change the world, provided they believe. And have billions of dollars and play tennis with Rupert Murdoch.

latest newsletters

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.