free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

pterodactyl

February 4, 2014 · Kris St.Gabriel
CheerUp Ecard with text: You should just feel grateful that I cannot always control the universe with my mind. (Picture of a Pterodactyl about to attack an innocent-looking man.)
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about this card:
pterodactyl | The worst thing about people being sad is the way they try to make you the scapegoat. "I'm sad because of you. I'm sad because I don't have a sofa anymore. I'm sad because we had to call fire-fighters to the house." My point here is that people wouldn't need to feel sad if they didn't buy brown sofas in the first place. Here is an ecard with a pterodactyl on it.

stegosaurus

June 18, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Inspirational Ecard with text: You have no reason to be unhappy. Here are half a dozen better reasons to be unhappy.
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about this card:
stegosaurus | 'Sometimes people say they are sad and they list off their reasons for being sad and I think to myself: these are good reasons to feel sad, but I have some better ones. I guess that if someone is feeling melancholy then, well, why should it be for amateurish reasons? It's called 'seizing the teachable moment'. And you guys? You don't pay me enough.'

raptors

February 13, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Valentines Ecard with text: Happy Valentines Day, etc. I honestly bought you chocolate but can no longer find it and am now operating under the theory that it was eaten by raptors.
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about this card:
raptors | Some say that Valentines Day is a commercialized confidence trick played on lovers, a cloying manufactured holiday, a manipulative marketing mechanism. But me? I only worry about two things. One, that if you don't buy someone chocolate right now, your entire relationship will crumble to pieces. And two, that raptors may not be as extinct as "the authorities" claim.