Anniversaries are great. If you can keep someone from working out who you truly are for an entire year then you deserve a bit of a romantic celebration. Sadly it is becoming increasingly customary these days to spend your anniversary with your partner and not with prostitutes, but traditional values will come back into vogue, don't worry. Another war will see to that.
Two thirds of our team are back from our Fact Finding Mission to Spain, where we studied Alcohol Intolerance and Sleep Deprivation. (It wasn't a competition but I still won!) I left the most responsible of us behind in Boston to run Wrongcards, as well as to teach him just how far Being Responsible will get him. Today's card is about babies I think. Next time I post I'll research it better.
I had a responsibility once. Most harrowing four minutes of my life. When the old lady came back and thanked me for minding her groceries I was covered in a dread-laden sweat. I don't need to learn a lesson twice - I've been skirting responsibilities ever since. So even though I want to be an inspiration to you all, I can't teach you this stuff. Have you guys SEEN a calendar? Stressful...
The media is blitzing us with reports of uprisings in Libya, Tunisia and Egypt, but have so far ignored the tribulations of actor Charlie Sheen. He's out of work and in six months will run out of cocaine. He doesn't need our pity, he needs drugs and hookers, so take on some extra shifts and donate generously. Thank you.