biohazard

Olympics Ecard with text: A picture of a the Olympic Rings as bio-hazards. — **about this card:**
*biohazard* | I would just like to congratulate Wrongcards for becoming the unofficial official (or official unofficial) ecard creators for this year's Olympics. Winning the contract was tricky - I had to drink half a gallon of green water that they shipped to me - but it wasn't so bad. Who needs to be able to see the color yellow, anyway? Have guys ever seen that awesome Vin Diesel movie where he used street racing knowledge to steal a bank safe? That movie was set in Brazil. If I watch it again, would that make me over-prepared to make these cards? I mean, by American NBC commentator standards?

tree killer

Christmas Ecard with text: Merry Christmas. You're responsible for killing a tree. — **about this card:**
*tree killer* | It's nice to have been missed, everyone; thanks. Where have I been? I've been working in secret on a cryptographic system based on ancient Sumerian cuneiform. In the process of this I did NOT accidentally unlock a dimensional gate between our world and that of Ereshkigal, goddess of the underworld. That was totally somebody else.

rational depression

CheerUp Ecard with text: I am sorry you are depressed and hope it is a rational depression arising from feelings of helplessness and futility about the world's burgeoning ecological problems and not because you have silly hair. — **about this card:**
*rational depression* | Today's card is my way of helping people overcome depression. However, you should all understand that I can't do too good a job on Cheer Up Cards because pharmaceuticals companies will try to sue me for loss of income. So I hope you all have a *mostly* happy Tuesday.

recycling

WTF Ecard with text: when i was a kid, captain planet used to come over to my house and teach me about recycling ordinary house hold items that most people discard after just one use. captain planet usually spelt of whiskey.

latest 5 newsletters

In which I accidentally create a religion.

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.