Free ecards that are wrong for every occasion.

flight to egypt

December 10, 2015
Christmas Ecard with text: A picture of Mary and Joseph riding away from the Egyption pyramids, because a large wire fence with a sign saying 'no immigrants' is in the way.
view send

about this card:
flight to egypt | A lot of people like to be contentious around the holidays, but not me. I like to play it safe.

jackal head

May 23, 2013
Thinking of You Ecard with text: I am treating you with caution until I am certain that you are not going to turn into one of that Jackal-Headed gods of Ancient Egypt, because I'm sick of investing myself in people and winding up feeling foolish.
view send

about this card:
jackal head | I forgot to login to Facebook for two months. No ill-effects, although I don't think Bill Gate's mind control 5G towers are working on me as well as they used to. And I think the vaccine nanobots are on the blink. Still, I did do some renovations at Wrongcards.com, so that's some good news. Oh, and there's this card ...

pyramid incident

April 11, 2012
Passover Ecard with text: Happy Passover. Though I'm sorry your people didn't stick around to help finish the pyramids because they turned out pretty nice in the end.
view send

about this card:
pyramid incident | On Wednesdays I prefer to post an older, more obscure card and then get to work on my bible. I'm writing a new bible, see, but with Cylons, because I like Cylons and was disappointed when there weren't any in the original. I haven't read the Jewish bible but I've seen the movie and liked it, despite them setting the narrative in an historic setting.

childless queen

May 3, 2011
Mother's Day Ecard with text: Thank you for not sending me down a river in a basket made from reeds so that I might be found by a Childless Queen and raised in that strange, distant realm to be a great and terrible leader of men.
view send

about this card:
childless queen | I'm not allowed to celebrate Mother's Day with Mother, so each year I make a life-sized doll, you see, and I sit with her at the table and we make tea and I bring her favorite cigarettes and liquorice. When it is over I take her outside and set her on fire. Without traditions we would all be lost.