Free ecards that are wrong for every occasion.

technically misleading

November 14, 2013
Apology Ecard with text: So technically it was misleading of you to tell me you wanted me to be myself.
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about this card:
technically misleading | I never watched Brokeback Mountain. I don't like westerns I guess. A friend tried to tell me that movie was gay, so I stopped talking to him: I won't tolerate the use of inappropriate language around me. It's a stupid criticism too. I mean, just because someone wears a cowboy hat doesn't make them gay. Anyway, today's card is for those of you bedeviled by authenticity. I love you guys, you know?

deeply profoundly

May 1, 2013
Apology Ecard with text: I am deeply and profoundly sorry that I have to apologize to you and promise that next time I will treat myself with more consideration.
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about this card:
deeply profoundly | Sometimes I cover my face, pretend to be upset, and say to people, 'I've been having some emotional problems lately' which is my way of saying: 'soon you're going to find the roadkill that I've hidden under your bed. I hope we will still be friends'. Friendships; they take work. Today's rehash Wednesday card is for saying sorry. See? I'm your friend.

self-made man

June 15, 2012
Father's Day Ecard with text: Dad, thanks for turning me into a self-made man
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about this card:
self-made man | I’m aware I have had certain advantages in life. Not every boy gets to grow up knowing his dad was both an astronaut AND an arctic explorer. My grandmother says it’s a pity my dad had to go into hiding when the lizard people from Rigel VI surreptitiously took control of all the world’s major governments, because I’d have really liked him.

never feel troubled

March 27, 2012
CheerUp Ecard with text: i want you to know that if you ever feel troubled or sad you can come to me, and i will console you by telling you that it’s all your fault for never doing what i tell you to do.
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about this card:
never feel troubled | Today's card is a Cheer Up card, which can be sent to people who are being depressing. Typically that means they have some sort of problem or a bad thing has happened. My point? When someone's life stops being about blue skies, short skirts and ice cream, we send this card. I know, right? Where were you guys before you found me?

good about being wrong

January 18, 2011
Apology Ecard with text: I apologize for the fact that I wasn't put on earth to help people feel good about being wrong.
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about this card:
good about being wrong | Whenever I apologize for something I focus on getting the details right. If you get the details wrong then it might sound insincere or as though you are thinking about something else. Sometimes I can't remember the details so I like to keep apologies very general and vague. Today's card, for example.

unintentionally

January 10, 2011
Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry I seemed a bit difficult, but it wasn't intentional. I am only intentionally difficult on Tuesdays.
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about this card:
unintentionally | Over my Christmas vacation (which is ending, by the way, roughly now-ish) I thought about becoming a better person. Less difficult, more civilized and all that nonsense. But ultimately I decided it probably wasn't worth the effort and that self-improvement is really about Better Excuses and Alibis. Here is the first Wrongcard for 2011.

busy being interesting

September 9, 2010
Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry I have not been more supportive of you lately. I have just been very busy being interesting.
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about this card:
busy being interesting | You know when a villain ties a person to the railway tracks and sends a letter to the hero saying 'you better get down here or your friend is going to get run over ha ha etcetera?' I don't know if this has happened to me because I tend not to open correspondence. I just forget. Missing the requisite gene I suppose. Here's an ecard for people like me.

tired sorry

July 31, 2010
Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry I got tired and forgot to pretend you are not deeply wrong about so many things.
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about this card:
tired sorry | Sometimes we have to apologize. Sometimes, even when any impartial, highly-educated expert would firmly agree that you are right and the other person is sadly bereft of facts and utterly adrift in a sea of confusion, we have to apologize. This card is for those moments.

just go la la la

July 6, 2010
Apology Ecard with text: If you don't know why I'm apologizing, please disregard this ecard. It's nothing and you always forgive me eventually anyway so just think about something else. Go like this:         LA La la la la LA.
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about this card:
just go la la la | I'm sure that none of you has ever needed to apologize to anyone for anything ... but if it ever becomes necessary to PRETEND to be sorry about something (because someone is being boring and serious about it) then this card will surely help.