possible

Mother's Day Ecard with text: Thank you Mother for refraining from eating me when I was small, and thus making this Mothers Day card possible. — **about this card:**
*possible* | They say that my Mum had a very generous spirit. I have few memories of her, mostly they're of her leaving to go out on her rounds in her nurses uniform. It's a pity she wasn't a nurse. Mother's Day is an important holiday/scam run by the greeting card industry. I'll be honest about it at least until Wrongcards is profitable, after which I'm obligated to pretend it's not nonsense.

sad santa

Christmas Ecard with text: 'Merry Christmas. Remember: it's probably not very sensitive to be leaving out cookies for a man who famously struggles with his weight.' — **about this card:**
*sad santa* | | I watch Fox News so I know all about the plot against Christmas. That's right: conspirators are subverting people's belief in Santa. As a small business owner, and a believer in Santa Claus (I even saw him in a shopping mall once), I make this pledge: For every 1000 boxes of Wrongcards you buy I will send you a Fox News coffee mug (possibly chipped). Christmas saved, kids.

shining example

Father's Day Ecard with text: Dad, you will always be a shining example of what will happen to me if I don't do any cardio. — **about this card:**
*shining example* | If it weren’t for women I don’t reckon men would bother with Fathers Day. And the concept of birthdays doesn’t make sense to us either. “HE knows it’s the annivesary of his birth: why do WE have to remind him?” Also - cutlery wouldn't exist without women. We'd still have can-openers though. We’d have racks of really, really expensive can-openers hanging proudly on our walls.

damnedest things

Happy Thanksgiving Ecard with text: Some say that there is more to Thanksgiving than gluttony disguised as gratitude, or the massacre of 5.3 million turkeys. HA HA HA HA HA HAHA.

latest newsletters

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.