Tagged as #fish.


identity issues

So the story behind this card is that I was walking near the zoo early this morning when a gorilla escaped its enclosure. I had the good fortune to be eating a toffee apple, which the gorilla had a particular fondness for, so we shared the toffee, had a bit of a heart to heart and then, in a newly restored state of mental calm, the gorilla legged it back over the wall into the zoo. BTW if it doesn't rain on Thursday we're both going swimming!
Ecard text: If you absolutely must have Identity Issues, then please, for the sake of everyone around you, try to make them interesting. (Picture of a man in a gorilla suit holding a large fish.)

concessions to romance

Like a few dozen other men I have a bit of a romantic streak. Sometimes I buy myself lilies or I light scented candles and take long baths. Or I put on some hip-hop and have a bit of a cry for no reason at all. I'll get annoyed at my lady and not tell her why and just wash up loudly. Or not talk to her because of something she did in one of my dreams. Othertimes - I just make a wrongcard.
Ecard text: Sure, it's up to you to decide how you feel about my wanting to touch you with a halibut. I just think it would be easier if you went with 'flattered'.

happy yom kipper

I'm a religiously tolerant person, except when people seem to disagree with me. But I do believe people should feel safe to worship Bronze Age gods, or, rather, the SAME Bronze Age god, even if he happens to go by three different names. Think about how many lives could have been saved if the sky wizard had limited himself to only two names! But I never say this out loud. It's called tact, people.
Ecard text: happy yom kipper, jewish person. sorry if this is late. or early.

scientific inquiry

Ecard text: 'So I poured bong water into your aquarium to see if fish can get high. Now, before you react, I want you to focus on the undeniable truth - that scientific inquiry has long confused lay society. However, to show you I am a good sport, I have decided to cook you dinner tonight. Just waiting for the fish to finish marinating.'

eaten your goldfish

Ecard text: i wouldn't have eaten your goldfish if i'd known you would get all boring and serious about it. But you should leave more food around the house.