'I have a theory. Have you ever vomited and thought: "My God, there's tiny bits of carrots in it. Look at 'em all. Wait, I didn't eat carrots. When's the last time I ate carrots? I need to eat more carrots." Anyway I have a theory. Your appendix? It produces tiny pieces of carrot for when you throw up. That's my theory. (I never said it was a good theory).'
On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the evening hiding in the shrubbery of a nearby park dressed in a swamp-monster costume. I am how urban legends are born.