blaming mother

Mother's Day Ecard with text: I dont blame you for anything, other than my inexplicable phobia of vampire geese. — **about this card:**
*blaming mother* | This card is from 2010, which goes to show you how long I've been aware of the vampire geese cover-up. What? You haven't heard of it? Let me show you something. If you ever mention something that others haven't heard of, say this phrase: "The mainstream media doesn't want you to know about _____!". In this case, 'Vampire Geese'. Seriously, how have I not been invited onto Fox News by now?

excuses for argument

Excuses Ecard with text: 'Very soon I will think of something offensive to say that will cause three hours of bitter argument, followed by a solid half hour of make-up sex. (Note: I dont have anything yet, other than some fairly controversial views about geese).'

weird thoughts

Birthday Ecard with text: I'm thinking about you on your birthday. but admittedly, i'm also thinking indescribably weird thoughts about geese.

the more stoned i get

WTF Ecard with text: the more stoned i get, the more awesome ducks become

latest newsletters

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.