Tagged as #geese.

blaming mother

This card is from 2010, which goes to show you how long I've been aware of the vampire geese cover-up. What? You haven't heard of it? Let me show you something. If you ever mention something that others haven't heard of, say this phrase: "The mainstream media doesn't want you to know about _____!". In this case, 'Vampire Geese'. Seriously, how have I not been invited onto Fox News by now?
Ecard text: I dont blame you for anything, other than my inexplicable phobia of vampire geese.

excuses for argument

Ecard text: 'Very soon I will think of something offensive to say that will cause three hours of bitter argument, followed by a solid half hour of make-up sex. (Note: I dont have anything yet, other than some fairly controversial views about geese).'

weird thoughts

Ecard text: I'm thinking about you on your birthday. but admittedly, i'm also thinking indescribably weird thoughts about geese.

the more stoned i get

Ecard text: the more stoned i get, the more awesome ducks become