Tagged as #gender.


false positive

'I may not believe in marriage but I believe that everybody, regardless of sexual orientation, is entitled to make mistakes like that. Even though I am a heterosexual boy I would consider marrying a gay person, or even a group of gay persons, if they are all female and good at cooking: why not? It's sad that people aren't always as mature as I am.'
Ecard text: sorry you were a false positive on my gaydar

gender tact

I never know the right thing to say but I've never let that stop me. When it comes to babies it's like quantum principles are involved. It's all projection, probability, wave-forms and misbehaving mathematics. You can send this card to any expecting parent and know you've covered all bases. If they get weird and serious about it blame it all on hormones.
Ecard text: Congratulations. I hope your baby is born a boy or girl.

fifty fifty

The behavioral nuances of an infant do not exactly enliven the mind unless, and I'm guessing here, your genetic material was used in its manufacture. Then it's all diverting stuff. Look, I love the arrival of a baby but a soliloquy from a new parent about an infant's burping habits? I can only remain in the room if I'm incapacitated, and even so, I still be clutching my head and screaming.
Ecard text: Congratulations on your new baby. I'm sorry it's probably not the gender you wanted but you can always love it slightly less. Don't worry I won't tell anyone.

i wasn't this confused

Ecard text: i wasn't this confused before I met you.