Tagged as #human resources.


staplers

It is hard to remember that, although Wrongcards is now a mega-corporation with global brand-awareness and a market saturation rivaling that of Coca-Cola, we were once a small outfit run by one man and a telepathic dog. In 2008, before we sold out to corporate interests, my dog told me to make this card. Or to feed her. Look it's not important.
Ecard text: so what IS human resources' policy concerning the stapling of a co-worker to his/her desk?

flee from cephalopods

Sometimes when I need my subordinates to take my authority seriously I hire an elderly actor to talk to an empty chair. It reassures them. I have only drugged my employees' orange juice twice, and only as a joke, not to extend their productivity or anything because that would be unethical. I believe a workplace should be happy place filled with experimentation and fear.
Ecard text: You are not allowed to be bored at work until AFTER you have forced Human Resources to amend the Employee Handbook with fourteen pages detailing the prohibition of Weaponized Squid Delivery Devices.

rich inner life

'People say to me: Che - how do you do it? I say 'hard work and nothing more'. But the truth is that everything pretty much depends on Human Resources not paying too much attention to me. Happy Friday you lot.'
Ecard text: Thank God it's Friday and my rich inner life has not yet come to the attention of upper management.

human resources

Ecard text: human resources would simply freak if they knew more about us