I used to be quite the athlete back in high school though I had a far less restrained conception of 'competitive' than other students. I probably would have gone pro if the lawyers hadn't shown up talking legalese and waving restraining orders around. Forced into retirement early I guess. Doctors said that sport wasn't for me. Minor ankle injury and a penchant for lighting fires. Whatever.
On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day not setting fire to things. Honestly I can't even remember the last time I even TRIED to summon a glorious, whirling chaos demon via the profane rites of fire worship. I promise you: my stamp collection is becoming pretty rad.
You know when a villain ties a person to the railway tracks and sends a letter to the hero saying 'you better get down here or your friend is going to get run over ha ha etcetera?' I don't know if this has happened to me because I tend not to open correspondence. I just forget. Missing the requisite gene I suppose. Here's an ecard for people like me.