Tagged as #jewish.


spring tidings

Now, I may not know anything about the world's religions but I don't like to think that it should prevent me from forming deeply held convictions on the topic. My Nanna taught me from the earliest age that only a few of us will be saved from the earth by lizard-people in flying saucers, so your guess is as good as mine. So Happy Passover (and Happy Dragon-Egg Festival, Nanna)!
Ecard text: Passover is the only part of the year in which you are allowed to throw buckets of lamb's blood at people's front doors without them accusing you of being a sociopath.

just try

The only reason Wrongcards has not officially endorsed a religion is because we haven't yet received a sponsorship offer. My hope is that we'll be sponsored by Christianity though I don't know much about it other than its founder was a tall, bearded, blue-eyed guy with North-American good looks. Still, his followers seem to be pretty heavily-armed, which I think is pretty persuasive really.
Ecard text: Dear Jewish person, I agree to be your friend on the condition that you at least TRY not to kill Jesus when he comes back.

jesus forgives

We've been talking a lot about Christmas here lately but let's not forget that Jews also have a Christmas celebration (called Kawanza) that happens sometime between November and February I think. I read that jewish priests ordained it as a sin for Jews to exchange presents, but I'm sure no one will get in trouble if they just send Jewish wrongcards instead.
Ecard text: I think Jesus will forgive you for being Jewish. Some of his best friends were Jewish.

pyramid incident

On Wednesdays I prefer to post an older, more obscure card and then get to work on my bible. I'm writing a new bible, see, but with Cylons, because I like Cylons and was disappointed when there weren't any in the original. I haven't read the Jewish bible but I've seen the movie and liked it, despite them setting the narrative in an historic setting.
Ecard text: Happy Passover. Though I'm sorry your people didn't stick around to help finish the pyramids because they turned out pretty nice in the end.

hanukkah presents

When I was growing up the most I knew about Jewish people was that they didnt believe in Christmas and liked to wear very small hats. Still, every year I give at least one Jewish friend a Christmas present. Its not required, of course, but cultural sensitivity is all about making others speechless with gratitude.
Ecard text: You would probably receive Christmas presents as well if you did what most of us do and pretend to be Christian.

rosh hashanah suggestion

So I spent this week camping in the White Mountains in New Hampshire and mostly feeling terrified of bears. The Jewish New Year came and went and I was oblivious to the whole thing this time. Another thing I'm afraid of is firecrackers and people dancing about in dragon costumes. Thank God I'm agnostic.
Ecard text: Happy Jewish New Year. Though I think if you move it to January 1st we would all find it easier to remember.

happy jewish holiday

Ecard text: hope you have a great jewish holiday. but im sorry your messiah isn't very punctual.