fevered brows

Excuses Ecard with text: I regret that I cannot come over, but I must spend the evening attending to the needy and applying compresses to the fevered brows of sick orphans. — **about this card:**
*fevered brows* | It hurts me to imagine that someone is out there at this very moment apologetically saying, "I'm sorry, I have no excuse...." I spend my life thinking up excuses, so take it from me - [sorry, the rest of this thought was written down by me and then eaten by ducks. WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?]

ridiculous lies

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry for the ridiculous lies I have to make up to get you to put out.

the santa claus myth

Christmas Ecard with text: Santa makes all us comfortable with being lied to by authority figures. He teaches us that gullibility is more likely to be rewarded than skepticism. — **about this card:**
*the santa claus myth* | Long-standing argument with my 6-year-old; she thinks Santa is real and I disagree. She thinks I'm needlessly skeptical. Interestingly, at this point I haven't bought a single Christmas present this year. I mean, there's still time for me to win this argument.

latest 5 newsletters

In which I accidentally create a religion.

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.