still want you

Love Ecard with text: I want you to know that I would still want to be with you even if I COULD lick my own genitals. — about this card:
still want you | Romance today is all about half-measures. It's gotten so bad that boys don't even steal flowers from graves any more, they just buy 'em in a shop. That's like saying 'I'll do anything to win and retain your affections provided it's convenient and lawful'. Once, lovers red-lined their emotions well into the realm of corpse desecration. But its ok, Romance can be saved; Wrongcards is taking it back!

recursive rhinoceros

Love Ecard with text: Love is like a rhinoceros with a saddle in the sense that if a pithy ecard with an obscure simile is somehow applicable to your relationship then you should both sit down and, over a nice cup of tea, work out what it is you are both doing wrong. — about this card:
recursive rhinoceros | "Love is like a rhinoceros wearing a saddle..." Sometimes I'm on fire, and I don't mean when I'm playing with kerosene and a lighter. My doctor says it's because I have a better grasp of reality than most. He stops by occasionally and counsels me and I'm helping him work through some issues with being dead and invisible to his loved ones. Share this card, it has good advice.

transactions

Baby Shower Thank You Cards Ecard with text: If you don't like your first-born, it's useful keeping him or her around because it can be useful in supernatural transactions. — about this card:
transactions | Congratulating people whenever they contribute to the human over-population problem is an important, profitable niche in the greeting card market. I may suck at inventing business concepts (cards that you shouldn't send to anyone?) but I'm going all out to meet my professional obligations today.

fifty fifty

Baby Shower Thank You Cards Ecard with text: Congratulations on your new baby. I'm sorry it's probably not the gender you wanted but you can always love it slightly less. Don't worry I won't tell anyone. — about this card:
fifty fifty | The behavioral nuances of an infant do not exactly enliven the mind unless, and I'm guessing here, your genetic material was used in its manufacture. Then it's all diverting stuff. Look, I love the arrival of a baby but a soliloquy from a new parent about an infant's burping habits? I can only remain in the room if I'm incapacitated, and even so, I still be clutching my head and screaming.

i love you strangely

Love Ecard with text: i love you strangely

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Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.