Tagged as #marijuana.


when im high

It's that time of year when we all remember our mothers. That's right. Mothers Day is nigh - at least, it is in North America. Different countries tend to celebrate Mothers Day at different times of year. I know, right? Why can't the world just agree on one thing? It's like we were all brought up badly or something. Anyway. This card has 25% more good taste than the others.
Ecard text: Don't worry Mother. When I'm high I love you at least twenty-five percent more than usual. It just accentuates everything!

just stoned

'On Wednesdays I like to post a slightly older card and then I invariably I do something practical, like my taxes. I always put a dead bird into the envelope I send to the IRS - when they call me up about it I say it was an accident. FYI: federal employees are not paid enough to audit people who accidentally mail dead animals to them. I'm here to help.'
Ecard text: I am sorry about how I acted at work but in my defense I was pretty stoned most of the day. i did take the time to do some pretty wicked origami though.

evidence

I never like to hear people arguing about religion because that means they're not sitting there listening attentively to me. Everyone has a different approach to religious debate. Mine is to scream: That Is Anathema! until everyone leaves. I guess it's important to win.
Ecard text: We can argue all day whether or not God gets high, but I think the evidence is clear.

everything is fine

I find people very demanding. "Do this, do that, be quiet, don't eat my pudding, put down that knife, tie it off with a tourniquet, drive me to a hospital, what do you mean we're stopping to buy ice cream?" Today's card? Send it to anyone and they'll probably just GIVE you their pudding. It's only reasonable, really.
Ecard text: I can't hang out with you after all. Everything is fine. I just have to find out what's up with my weed.

weed safety

Ecard text: I'm happy to smoke weed because everybody who smokes weed says that is safe.

scientific inquiry

Ecard text: 'So I poured bong water into your aquarium to see if fish can get high. Now, before you react, I want you to focus on the undeniable truth - that scientific inquiry has long confused lay society. However, to show you I am a good sport, I have decided to cook you dinner tonight. Just waiting for the fish to finish marinating.'

the cow

On Wednesdays I like to post a link to an older card and then spend the rest of the day standing outside retirement communities wearing a Grim Reaper costume. Look, it's the only place I can go without surprising anyone.
Ecard text: 'the cow has given me my first mission. but i keep wondering: why would a sentient, pan-dimensional cow have such faith in a stoner like me, anyway?'

lizard ate my weed

Ecard text: This lizard ate all my weed, turned blue and started talking about Jesus. Best night of my life. Ever.

the more stoned i get

Ecard text: the more stoned i get, the more awesome ducks become