Tagged as #meat.


christmas deer

"What are you getting me for Christmas?" she asked. , "A card," I replied., "Because you own a greeting card company, right?" , "That's right. If I give you a card I get to save money.", "Great." , "It is pretty cool," I agreed. , "Well, at least promise me it'll be a traditional Christmas card, with deer on it or something.", "I promise."
Ecard text: In accordance with tradition, and like most others, this Christmas card has lots of deer in it. With a picture of venison.

not rudolf please santa

The song 'I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus' offers a pretty sinister implication when you believe in Santa. When I was a little kid, thinking about this man carrying on with some kid's mum was pretty distressing. Sure, he's a notorious 'reverse burglar', but what's his deal with messing about with other kid's mums? It's understandable then that when other kids got better presents than me, it did kind of change my attitude towards their mothers. In unrelated news, for some reason I wasn't invited to Christmas parties as a child either.
Ecard text: merry christmas. dear Santa, all I want this year is a leg of your finest venison. Dancer or Prancer is ok but not Rudolf cause he is some kind of genetic freak.

transubstantiation

I've never known much about religion. I guess I'm agnostic because I don't want to wind up having to look surprised. Sadly, having a foot in both camps just means everyone feels obligated to preach at you. Today's card is about the Eating of the Eucharist. It's my way of coping with being recently told that it's not a biscuit.
Ecard text: Jesus. Meat Industry Lobbyist.