pleasant associations

Baby Shower Thank You Cards Ecard with text: Don't worry I'm happy to babysit. You can pay me in breast milk. I have a lot of pleasant associations with it. — about this card:
pleasant associations | Alright now. Spring seems to be unfurling languidly across the North-East, beckoning thoughts of all things new. Bleating lambs, chirpy birds and such. Tottering toddlers with sticky-jam hands. You know what I'm saying. Babies. Speaking of which, here's a Baby Card to look at it. Sharing it on people's walls? Wouldn't do it myself but then, I'm a serious individual ...

label nazi

Reminders Ecard with text: If you MUST insist on being a Refrigerator Label Nazi, could you at least buy milk I would WANT to steal? — about this card:
label nazi | Back when I was poor and unnourished, I lived with a guy who used to drink my milk while I slept. As a comparative ratio, based on my assets at the time, this equated roughly to stealing my car. But I never put a note on anything in the fridge. Even to me, who once suffered, a note on milk is an instruction to steal.

a birthday remembered

Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday, and a half finished to-do list including - remember birthday, buy milk, token gesture ecard, sharpen axe, practice looking innocent.

too old to be breast-fed

Mother's Day Ecard with text: i'm too old to be breast-fed, ma!

latest newsletters

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.