Is it your Birthday today? Then I created a perfect card just for you. A-ha! I don't know anyone having a birthday. It was a lie. I lie like a rug! And I'm adrift in a sea of fabrication and dishonesty. But then again: if it isn't your Birthday then you have to admit, you kinda failed me personally as well. I'm going to forgive you, though, because it's what Dr. Phil would want me to do. Dr. Phil has a nice moustache.
This month, Librans have their birthdays - or Libras or whatever. You know, every now and then I write to astronomy departments at major universities and ask them if they have any professorial positions open for Librans, because 'they would obviously know that Librans have a natural advantage when it comes to comprehending the movements of Celestial Bodies. No idea idea why I do this. I'm a Leo.