why we drink

St Patricks's Day Ecard with text: We drink to remember St Patrick's liberation of Ireland from the Nazi-Alien occupation of 1932-1956, which you would know all about if you too watched the History Channel. — **about this card:**
*why we drink* | It makes me sad that many people don't take St Patrick's Day seriously. Some will prance about in fatuous green socks, mention some highly unlikely Irish ancestor and then consider their obligations to the thing met. Not me. I'm a messenger. From God, probably. And if I don't explain this holiday then millions will be spending Saturday drunk for no reason at all. So here we go ...

label nazi

Reminders Ecard with text: If you MUST insist on being a Refrigerator Label Nazi, could you at least buy milk I would WANT to steal? — **about this card:**
*label nazi* | Back when I was poor and unnourished, I lived with a guy who used to drink my milk while I slept. As a comparative ratio, based on my assets at the time, this equated roughly to stealing my car. But I never put a note on anything in the fridge. Even to me, who once suffered, a note on milk is an instruction to steal.

busy killing nazis

Apology Ecard with text: i am sorry that you only seem to want to communicate when i'm busy killing Nazis. — **about this card:**
*busy killing nazis* | Tradition dictates that I post an older card on Wednesdays, and today's card explores the same theme as yesterday's - that is: miscommunication. BTW, I've given a lot of thought to the topic of miscommunication and have decided I'm in favor of it overall. It also keeps me in business.

latest newsletters

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.