free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

zombie realism

July 24, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Zombie Ecard with text: A realist's plan for dealing with a zombie outbreak. step 1) run away screaming with hands over head in sheer panic and terror.
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about this card:
zombie realism | I've always had a very firm grasp on reality. The reason is that when I was twelve I witnessed my sister's abduction by extraterrestrials from our family home on Martha's Vineyard, which drove me to join the FBI where I investigated unsolved cases alongside a pretty, red-haired forensic pathologist. You don't have to believe me: the truth is out there.

role playing game

March 7, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Inspirational Ecard with text: Life is a Role Playing Game in which the Dungeon Master has decided not to explain the rules, so don't worry; it's completely appropriate to panic.
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about this card:
role playing game | The thing about wasps is that you can chant at them and, if they like you, they'll form themselves into a calm sentient pillar in the shape of a person, like a golem, and do your bidding, and carry out certain tasks, like paying the pizza guy or seeing off unwanted visitors. I don't know how people can be sad in such a marvellous world.

fire safety

February 8, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
Reminder Ecard with text: In the Event of Fire, panic.
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about this card:
fire safety | Today's wrongcard offers a workplace survival tip. BTW if you are ever subjected to a Human Resources meeting about fire safety awareness you should interrupt occasionally with remarks like: "But you have to admit that fire is incredibly beautiful" and "But you'll agree nothing purifies quite like fire." It helps pass the time.

true and reasonable

December 7, 2010 · Kris St.Gabriel
Excuses Ecard with text: I cannot attend that thing you are organizing due to my tendency to say true and reasonable things that make some people panic.
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about this card:
true and reasonable | It's not that Christmas parties are all that terrible once the brandy hits the bloodstream. But we introverts dread these things in advance. Why can't we just stay at home and read a good book? Or even a bad one? All you need is a servicable excuse. You can change the world if you have a good enough excuse. Or an alibi.