sneaky snowmen

Christmas Ecard with text: Merry Christmas. Remember, Snowmen are secretly sentient, and can oftentimes behave very weirdly. You dismiss my warnings at your own peril. — **about this card:**
*sneaky snowmen* | People often say I'm too serious, but I have so many responsibilities! I run one of the most influential and socially responsible websites on Earth! It's Christmas and I should burning tires in my living room and making up a batch of Nanna's lizard soup but here I am drawing pictures of snowmen for all you reckless people who think snowmen are safe to be around. Look at me, Nanna, saving the world again...

unwelcome follower

Excuses Ecard with text: I am sorry I cannot attend your party but I'll be secluding myself indefinitely, or at least until this very persistent zebra stops following me. — **about this card:**
*unwelcome follower* | If I were a famous individual my name would be prefixed with the phrase 'The Famous Recluse'. I know that sounds grandiose but I don't see any point in being a humble recluse. So anyway I like to provide excuses to recluses. Example: today's card. If you want an unbelievable life, stop being believable right now, I say.

latest 5 newsletters

In which I accidentally create a religion.

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.