Tagged as #plastic animals.


trite

I was in love once. It was an earth-shattering experience, a state of instant infatuation. As soon as I tasted that vanilla bean ice-cream cone I fell head over heals. Then, in that moment of ecstasy, some really annoying girl came up and asked for a taste. This is where the story gets bad. , , Turns out, she liked vanilla bean ice-cream too. You know what she does? She sits down right next to me and starts to take turns eating my ice-cream (!) And smiling at me in a simpering sort of way (!) Well, long story short, I only got to eat half of that ice-cream cone. But it was love that I felt for that ice-cream, I am sure of it. Makes me sad to remember, actually., , Sigh. That's love for you, I guess. , ,
Ecard text: Here it is. Your Valentines Day card. Because there just isn't enough trite sentimentality in the world. (A picture of an inflatable pony with the caption - mildly disturbing picture of an inflatable pony.)

inflatable sheep

So I invented Rehash Wednesday years ago but the world stole my idea and made it #ThrowbackThursday to avoid having to pay me royalties. Which is fine because I am nice, even people who haven't met me say so all the time. Anyhow, I'm told there is a lot of yellow in this card but I haven't been able to see yellow since I got angry that one time and ate some lead pencils. I think this card is about sheep and morality.
Ecard text: i can't find anything in the bible prohibiting inflatable sheep - so i think you're in the clear with jesus.

deserving rewards

Ecard text: I remembered it is our anniversary. I also did my chores so technically I deserve for you to unlock the plastic animals cabinet.

romantic sort of way

Ecard text: I enjoy touching you in a romantic sort of way. The secret chambers of my heart are haunted no longer by the delicious tactile squeak of inflatable farm animals. Nonetheless I think your effect on me has been positive overall.