disrespected

In Laws Ecard with text: I'm sorry I don't want your family to visit but if I wanted to be disrespected under my own roof I would just hire a dominatrix. — **about this card:**
*disrespected* | The holidays are almost upon us. And you know who, apart from Santa and serial killers, are going around visiting people? In-laws. In-laws are a practical joke that fate likes to play on married people, which is why I decided to create a new category of cards about them. If you're expecting the Unspeakables this year, this first in-law card is for you. Happy holidays you crazy cats...

moderate quality

CheerUp Ecard with text: I like you more than I'd like two prostitutes of moderate quality. — **about this card:**
*moderate quality* | A lot of men find it difficult to express themselves emotionally, but that's only because a lot of men these days don't drink a lot of whiskey. Men, it's easy to speak your mind; all you have to do is make sure nobody is home, lock the doors and whisper. I can't believe we have a reputation for being unable to communicate.

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I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.