Tagged as #psychiatry.


cupcakes

Romance. It can't be avoided. It has all the sad inevitability of scabies. And what is romance, anyway? On the one hand, you say you don't like someone at work but when their house burns down suddenly I'm the bad guy. And some men grow up eating crayons. Love is not about taking away a man's crayons. What is Romance? Do I put my elbows on the table anymore? No I don't. So there.
Ecard text: We know that Sigmund Freud never got to the bottom of the question 'what is it that women really want?' because his final work was not a volume of cupcake recipes.

moth man inkblot

On Wednesdays I feature an older card and then spend the rest of the day trying to pass myself off as a credible researcher at Harvard Medical School. I carry a clipboard and say things like, "We're making progress. I think we have reasons to feel optimistic." Sooner or later they're going to let me play with the bodies.
Ecard text: In my Rorschach ink-blot test I easily recognized the Moth Man who has been trying to eat my soul since my childhood. But I told the doctor I only saw my mother having sex. I like to make him happy.

psychiatric medicine

Ecard text: My doctor says I am a triumph of modern psychiatric medicine! If he keeps being nice to me I may have to let him out  of my basement.

ergasiophobia

Ecard text: im sorry i havent been supportive but i didnt know you had a real psychological problem. with description of ergasiophobia.

my frickin psychiatrist

Ecard text: mother, my frickin' psychiatrist wants to send you a commission

my psychiatrist hates it

Ecard text: my psychiatrist says he hates it when i show up in his bedroom at 3am wearing nothing but over mitts. but deep down, i know he's really into it.

four out of five

Ecard text: Four out of five mental health professionals agree that i'm no danger to anybody. Don't worry about that one guy, I'll kill him later.